- A holiday that involves a mystifying combination of costuming, baking, crafting, child-supervision/shuttling and gluttony should come with at least one day off.
- The people who write articles about avoiding overindulging by making necklaces and model homes out of Halloween candy ought to be publicly flogged. Along with people who write articles saying that people should pass out apples and baby carrots on Halloween. Honestly.
- It’s yet another opportunity to feel like a mom-fail of the highest order as you look at the kid whose very homemade Halloween costume looks like something that would make Martha Stewart herself weep with joy.
- That some brilliant person should station herself at major intersections selling cheap Xanax to parents who will soon be dealing with sheer bedlam when their kids get jacked up on approximately 637 grams of sugar.
- The fact that in a matter of days my kids will have forgotten about their stash, leaving me to spend my nights in a wine and candy induced stupor, and ushering in The Winter of the Monstrous Ass, proves that this holiday is really and truly an instrument of the Devil.
**My thoughts and prayers are with those recovering from Hurricane Sandy. I hope that you were able to stay safe, and that life is slowly but surely returning to normal.