Tuesday, November 11, 2014

50 Reasons We Moms Deserve An Award

I was born in the 1970s.   

The early 1970s, which today seems positively medieval.    

We got spankings. Hours upon hours of the day went by with out a single children's television program on the air.   

And if you sucked at something, not only did you not get a trophy, but your teacher, or your coach, or maybe even your mom told you so. Told you so and then told you that you were a big girl and needed to stop all that ridiculous crying. 

As for "just showing up," that was what you were supposed to do, and you weren't going to get any goddamn award for it.   

But now, looking at these coddled millennials, not to mention my own brats cherubs, I feel cheated.   

I want to be not only acknowledged, but actively celebrated, for all the mundane and dutiful shit we moms do. Every. Day.   I mean, come on people, don't these things deserve some recognition?

1.      We took two kids trick-or-treating. When it was 40-degrees, gale-force winds and SLEETING.
2.      We eat their Halloween candy in moderation. That’s why it’s still here!
3.      When a few pieces of candy turned our kids into a couple of rioting prisoners, we reacted calmly instead of screaming.
4.      We cobble together great, healthy dinners with stuff we have in our pantry.
5.      When our house looks like a crime scene, we at least try to remain loving and kind, before screaming, “Do I look like the maid to you?!!”
6.      We managed to take twenty-minute nap today. With one kid at home.
7.      We remembered to order the kids new snow boots. Before the first major snow!
8.      We turned off the TV/iPad/X-box when we said we would.
9.      We exercised today by involving our kids. Sure, we only burned off three tic-tacs, but how our effort was completely magazine-worthy!
10.         We tried a new recipe, and everyone asked for seconds!
11.         We arranged a playdate with that girl our daughter loves, the one whose mother is a huge "rhymes with glitch."
12.         We grit our teeth and left the house with our daughter in an outfit so garish our ego is bruised and our eyes are practically bleeding.
13.         We got off Facebook and played with our children. And then got back on when they stopped playing fair.
14.         We cleaned the fridge. And only bitched about it a little.
15.         We finally downloaded all those photos onto the computer.
16.         We put our phone/keys/wallet in the right place.
17.         We left enough time to get where we needed to go.
18.         We packed enough food for everyone. Including ourselves.
19.         We remembered to ask them to go to the bathroom, before getting on the road.
20.         We had some alone time.
21.         We trusted our gut, and got them out of harm's way. FAST.
22.         We let them cook/clean with us, even though it made that ten-minute task take 90.
23.         We remembered to call Great Aunt So-and-so.
24.         We answered with a firm "no," and put it out of our head.
25.         We finally read that book.
26.         We found "him" on Facebook, and realized he isn't, and probably never    really was, all that and a bag of chips.
27.         We stopped complaining to your friend and did something about whatever "it" is.
28.         We went to bed early for once.
29.         And woke up ready to take on the world.
30.         We drank more water than yesterday.
31.         We wrote.
32.         We meditated.
33.         We paid bills.
34.         We saved money.
35.         We let it go (and didn’t even think about the song).
36.         We checked several items off our to-do list.
37.         We spoke our mind.
38.         We brought more whole foods into our diet, bonus for not spending your whole paycheck at the store of the same name.
39.         You learned something new.
40.         We got rid of stuff we don't wear anymore, bringing our closet out of 1999 and up to maybe 2010.
41.         We forgave.
42.         We danced, just because.
43.         We stopped caring so much about what everyone else thinks.
44.         We finally cleaned out the fridge and cabinets.
45.         We walked there instead.
46.         We ordered it on the side. And used it sparingly.
47.         We went on a date.
48.         We got organized.
49.         We sent a thank you.
50.         We realized we don’t have to be perfect to be amazing.

Now it's your turn!

Why do you deserve an award?

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