|The kick-ass room of |
Tatum and Vivi Flatland
As a welcome to the current mompetitive, child-is-royalty parenting culture of today, a pregnant friend of mine was recently asked the theme of her baby-girl's nursery. My mommy-to-be buddy was taken aback by this barbed query, but posted on FB a few gems that she might have offered in response.
Needless to say, as a mommyblogger, I was on that s--t like animal activists on a mink coat.
These days a nursery cannot just be a loving haven, culled together out of hand-me-down furniture and heirlooms. NO! It must be worthy of an interior design thesis project. It must be whimsical, instructive, innovative, a conversation starter! The baby's room theme must not just impress, but ASTOUND, other parents, making them fall to their knees and weep at the fierce originality exuded by your family.
Let Mom's New Stage hold your hand and lead you through the wilderness of nursery décor, with the truly amazing, even stupefying, list below:
10 Ridiculously Original Room Themes That Will Wipe the Smile Right Off Those People Who Think They Have an Edge Because They Bought The My Baby Can Read Series.*
1. Mr. Peanut: Aristocratic Playboy or Fearsome Allergen
2. The Yugo
3. Arabesque, Schmarabesque. Let's Talk Horton Laterals.
4. The Utensil that Love Built: The Story of the Spork
5. I ♥ semicolons.
6. The Presidency of Chester A. Arthur**
7. The Original Single Lady: Queen Elizabeth I
8. She Said What?!: Malapropisms of Sarah Palin
9. The Afro Beehive Pompadour: Cross-Cultural hairstyles
10. Chemical Brotha: The Kool-Aid Man and Red #40
*If you purchased this series, I mean no offense. It's just. . . well, um, yeah.
** Theme originally suggested by mom-to-be Katie Hobson.