Monday, February 4, 2013

10 Ways Kids' Meals at Home are like a (Bad) Restaurant



  1. You can expect screaming if a dish isn’t made perfectly to order.

  1. Unsatisfactory dishes will be returned to the kitchen for fixing up or for a complete substitute.

  1. Diners feel empowered to make a complete mess. After all, they're not cleaning up.  

  1. Diners expect every request to be fulfilled instantly.

  1. Even if they see you clearly trying to meet someone else's needs, they keep asking for shit.

  1. Servers are expected eat before or after their "shift." Eating on the job will not be tolerated. 

  1. No one ever needs anything when asked, but has a million requests when you try to catch your breath.

  1. The other wait staff has a different idea of what sharing duties means.

  1. Diners show atrocious table manners - screaming, shouting, sitting under/climbing over the table, fighting, throwing food.

  1. A meal when everyone is happy is not necessarily based on good food or attentive service, just dumb luck. 

But at least at a restaurant, even a crapola one, I'd get some small tips with my headache.  At home I get bubkes.

What's the mealtime deal at your house?


9 comments:

  1. Handsdown, mealtimes are the worst part of my day! I start counting down on Mondays have many meals I have to get through alone until my husband can hop back in the fun and start dodging flying food with me on the weekends. Such a pure, fun, delight with kiddos...Though I have to admit--I'm glad I'm not the only one ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is so rare and so fleeting to have the fam gathered around the table eating and sharing and HAPPY. Did they put out that ideal just to taunt us?

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  2. This is probably terrible to admit, but around the time mine hit 10 and 14 I was so fed-up with the squabbling at my dinner table that we stopped eating at the table.

    I holler dinner, they slink out of their rooms and slither back in. I get to eat my food without the indigestion of breaking up repeated arguments.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can see that with teenagers. Heavy sigh.

      Delete
  3. Our meal time? Just like this. But lately all I hear is "I not hungreeeee!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never hungry for meals, but they could eat Rush Limbaugh's weight in dessert and snacks.

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  4. Word. Maybe I'll start charging my family to eat here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why stop there? Charge 'em for laundry, rides, baths and by the minute for being put into bed.

      Delete
  5. This sounds about right! Love your blog. Just subscribed. Have a great day!

    ReplyDelete

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