This is a big day for me!
Huge! Really HUGE!
I'm not pregnant! Nor did I win the lottery!
But I did hit the jackpot.
I am finally In the Powder Room! They let me in as a guest!
Let me explain. In the Powder Room.com is the fantastic site that lets us women both blast outside reality with hysterically funny tales, as well as confront our inner demons with courageous and raw stories.
My début In the Powder Room is about sex bay-bee! I go back to college, to the days when I often made myself available to men even when I knew better. Even when I knew that after it was over I'd feel hollow. Even when I put myself at risk.
I really put my cookies on the line with this one -- it is the most I've divulged of myself since I started blogging, and you simply must read it, lest I feel more cursed and unlovable than too old sushi.
Ok, so here's the even BIGGER news!
The folks at ITPR have gotten all Emeril and kicked it up a notch (BAM!) with a new humor anthology entitled -- ever so brilliantly -- You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth!
And Mom's New Stage (that's me!) is in it, along with 38 other fantastic writers!
Each piece reflects the wild humor and/or the soul-bearing heart you would expect from ITPR.
Here are a few stories to whet your appetite:
"The Gym: A Place Where Muscles and Gag Reflexes Go To Workout"
On the tour of your new gym facility you are shown the pool, spa, sauna, workout and yoga rooms. What they fail to give you is a warning about the WOMEN who frequent the locker room. Some of the things you see there will shock, horrify, astound and amuse you. It's not for the weak of heart. Or stomach.
"Friends Let Friends Pee Their Pants"
We all know that childbirth can wreak havoc on our bladders. But even as a teenager, I had a week continence. It's bad enough peeing your pants, but peeing in a pair of your friend's pants- that's a whole different story!
"The ABC Club"
Freshman year of college I bonded with two women who are still my closest friends. That bond was solidified over a mutual disdain for the nasty business of blow jobs. We even formed a club, The Anti-Blow Job Club (Club?), which our mothers were less proud of than we expected them to be.
"I Have a Dress Problem"
We've all got our closet shame, Meredith's comes in the form of cases of t-shirt dresses that she hides from her husband. People don't divorced over stuff like this, right? Right??
"Going Off the Deep End: A Tale of Swimsuits Gone Wrong"
They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger - and the stories of my bathing suits from summers’ past are no exception to the rule. If people have skeletons in their closet, mine are wearing swimwear - just hanging there as a reminder of the horrors I endured from poor choices, wrong sizes, and unsuitable designs for my body type.
And here's the whole crew!
And here's the whole crew!
You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth is officially available for purchase TODAY, so I know you'll want to rush over to Amazon.com to get your hot little hands on a copy STAT. You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth is available as a Kindle download or in paperback. Information on ordering on other e-readers such as Nook, Kobo and Sony will be coming soon.
You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth...
It's the book women are going to be laughing and crying over, talking about, and sharing.
It's the book for your mother, your sister, your aunt, your grandmother, your adultish daughters, and of course, your girlfriends.
It's the book where, just like the powder room, women need to be.