Monday, August 5, 2013

10 Reasons this Blog is AWESOME!


Maybe you're an old fan.  Or you dashed on over after my guest post on Scary Mommy.

If you're just getting to know me, let me start by saying I'm modest.  Humble. I am NOT a woman who prattles on about her achievements.  Being boastful is unnecessary because our cuticles tell all.

They don't?  

Well, shit! That explains everything.  

So, as a glowing introduction, one that leaves me happy, not feeling like someone who makes credit cards in their bedroom, here are ten supercool things about my blog.  Ten things you'll love!  Ten reasons you'll tattoo "I <3 MOM'S NEW STAGE" on your breast!  (Just kidding about the last one.  That's really creepy.  Even I wouldn't do that and it's my site.)

1.    It's a mash-up.  I am a dancer/teacher/mom/wife/person who passionately launches into the theme song from "Good Times" (keepin' your head above water, makin' a wave when you can!) to thumb her nose at the stress of 21st-century life.  This blog shows the humor, heart and the "Oh Hell to the no!" of all of the above.  Never boring! 

2.    Inspiration from other moms.  And while these may be great things, I don't mean just moms who have lost the baby weight, rock stylish clothes, and wear actual make-up.  I do in-depth interviews with moms who are creative forces, yet deal with the day-to-day issues we all share.  Check some out and feel galvanized! 

Hubbard Street alum Sarah Cullen Fuller
photo: Todd Rosenberg

3.    Dance, Dance, Dance!  Maybe you used to be a dancer.  Maybe you still are. Maybe you've always loved it and want an inside view.  What is the life of a dancer or dance mom? Is there more to dance that 47 pirouettes and the flexibility of Silly Putty?  I’ll bring the love, nerves and the pee-your-leotard funny of the dance world.

4.    I can laugh at myself.  Negative comments may stab my soul, but I can turn one into something AWESOOOOOOOOOMMMMMME!!! The first time I posted in Scary Mommy about husbands babysitting, the sanctimommies and angry daddies brought their asshole-ripping tools in full force.  One guy dared me to write 10 Things About Me That Suck For My Partner.  Dude didn't know he was messing with the MSD - mistress of self-deprecation.  Boom! One of my most popular posts!

5.    Little Graphics - Sometimes life is too busy to read a whole blog post. And, hell, sometimes it's too busy to write one.  I love little graphics, like the one below, that let you go "tee-hee" and get back to peeling your kids’ grapes. 

6.    I'm in two books!  I’ve appeared in I Just Want to Pee Alone, a hilarious best-selling anthology put together by the amazing Jen of People I Want to Punch in the Throat. This fabulous book includes 37 of some of the best lady bloggers out there. It went to number one in the humor category on Amazon, at one point beating out Tina Fey! And... I am part of another fierce anthology that will be released any day now. Squeeeeeeeeee!  I’ll keep you posted.  

7.    I love open letters.  I tend to seethe and rehearse what I coulda, woulda, shoulda said and done. It might show a lack of metaphorical lady balls; it might be even totally passive-aggressive.  But it lets me go on the offense like a bitch, but gracefully. As opposed to leaving the scene in handcuffs or dissolving into a puddle of tears, which would surely occur in a face-to-face confrontation.  

8.    You are not alone.  Raise your lighter app and sing the Michael Jackson song.  I bare my soul about mommy playdates, keeping my little brown boy safe and being a dance teacher.  The latter even landed in Huff Po!  I don’t try to make you sob-heave, but I hope you read my site and feel like someone knows what you’re going through.

I thank the phenomenal Bearded Iris
for this one.

9.    I revere irreverence.  I like to curse.  I love to be slightly on the wrong side of wrong.  I recently did a graphic called How Having Kids Feels Like Having a Bad Boyfriend.  Some thought I was making light of domestic abuse, which I would never, ever, ever do.  But I DO like dark humor.  And I like taking risks.  And I REALLY like cookie dough ice cream.  

Seriously, though, we can talk about why it was funny or not in the comments.  Just be respectful, okay?

10.I’m honest.  There should really be nine reasons, but I needed this one for the title.  Don’t hate. 

Thanks so much!  I hope you’ll keep coming back.  Mom's New Stage is a fun place to be!


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