Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Dance, Teach, Mother: Random Thoughts from My Day

Before Class:
I have been circling the effing South Loop for 40 minutes.  Almost late for work because I'm too cheap to pay for parking. It would be silly to take a taxi because I parked in West Jabook for free.  

Or would it?  

In the office:  
I guess I'll change in front of K so that we can continue our conversation.  Too bad this office is the size of a jolly rancher. And I am as hairy as Mrs. Cro-Magnon.  Embarrassing...

In first class (modern):
My God, where are my rotators?  Do you think I can buy some new ones at Walgreen's? Maybe Jewel?  My hip flexors are on fire!

Love demonstrating a turn to my Intro level class and falling out of it. I have stayed too long at the fair.

Wow, this adagio kicks ass.  Especially for something I just pulled out of mine.  Fooled 'em again!

Broccoli and brown rice and tofu.  Not the best pre-class meal. I'm going to look bloated, like someone in her first trimester.  I hope I don't crop dust my next class.  

Second Class (jazz):
I cannot believe I am giving a study guide and am going over the study guide so these kids don't get Fs.  Why don't I just tell them the whole freakin' exam?  What is up with these kids today?  In my day they told us to study the material that had been covered and that was it.

I sound like I'm 80. I HAVE stayed too long at the fair.  

Do you believe this girl?  Tells me nonchalantly after the fact, that she left classbecause, she had to use the restroom - to pee really bad.  Hello, you pee during break when you put your shoes on! Not when you're running through the routine for our showing!  I taught the whole class with a pee-belly BUT I HELD IT.  And with pelvic floor muscles that is as strong as 1-ply toilet paper. 

It's called Express Your Mess, Not Show Your Incompetence.  Should I sit at the showing with a bag over my head?

At Trader Joe's With Nicole:
This checkout lady must think we are nuts, bitching and moaning.  And did she really just suggest that we should stay home with our babies? Does it look like I'm married to Mitt Romney?!  

At the park with kids after school and daycare and before dinner:
It is lonely here. I am bored. The park sucks without other moms to talk to.  

Does R really think he can poop in the park, like a dog, or squirrel or something? That's all I need after complaining about people bringing their dogs in here.

Is he going to get constipated because I told him to hold it?  Or is he going to poop his pants and force me to contemplate running away?

Am I really buying this kid a monster truck, just because I wouldn't let him take the one home that someone left at Butternut?  It's true that maybe the kid who lost it will come back for it, and we couldn't take it home after scolding that homeless lady.  Plus, Mister R has wanted a truck for a while.  But that doesn't mean I have to buy him one now.  

Now that I am getting him a truck, I have to get something for Lady A as well.

I have bought these kids new s--t everyday!  $22 of crap on a whim and we have a b'day and a 1/2 b'day coming up.  I am a Class A Sucka.  

"A fool and her money are soon parted."

After a great dinner of leftover pad thai and miso soup that everyone actually ate, and sitting watching Thomas On Demand:
I LOVE it when Gordon says, "Oh, the Indignity!" 

Is it sad that I identify with a pompous animated blue engine? I think Gordon symbolizes my life.  Oy.    

After bath, and finally getting both kids in bed and threatening 4 times that I will take both their new toys away and not going through with it:
Free at last!  Free at Last!  Thank God, almighty...

Now where is my wine?  

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