Friday, April 13, 2012

10 Ways to Show a Blogger Some Love*

1. Pressure (Billy Joel, 1982 )
Bloggers love comments!  And comments are good! They show that you had some kind of response to a post.  Or maybe that you're just friendly and wanted to say hi.  

Peer pressure is good, too,  if it’s to do something good like write comments on someone’s blog.

Therefore, writing a comment, which makes others want to write comments, thereby exerting peer pressure, is EXTREMELY GOOD.* (These reasoning skills are why I cancelled my LSAT scores.)

And if the comments start to have boxing gloves or kitten claws, a skillfully written comment can pressure Mr. and Mrs. A. Hole into realizing the error of their ways.   I'm just sayin'.

2. I Will Follow (U2, Boy, 1980)
Your blogger writes because she likes to, but also because s/he’s trying to build an empire audience community. Without following/liking, etc., you can’t help Mrs. Blogger feel happy about her uptick in numbers on FB or Twitter or Belt Notch (I made that last one up).  And unlike a membership at Costco, NPR or PBS this is FREE.

3. Matchmaker  (Fiddler on the Roof,  Original Broadway Cast, 1964)
While she can write, your blogger friend has the Twitter skills of Davy Crockett.  If you’re not a social media maven yourself,  you might know a someone who is to help a sista out.  Or, maybe you know a web designer or went to college with Anderson Cooper.  Introduce your blogger friend to someone to get her out of blogging peasantry. 

And while you’re at it, a sugar daddy would be nice too.  Ha! Just kidding!

4. Paparazzi (Lady Gaga, 2008)
You don’t have to stalk your blogger friend with a camera, but couldn’t it be a blast to exclaim at Trader Joe’s, “Oh my God, aren’t you Lola LaBlogga?  Don’t you write Escape from Mamatown?!  I looooove that site!  I read it every day!”  If she’s a mommy blogger, be sure there are lots of moms with strollers within earshot.   Brilliant.

5. Something to Talk About (Bonnie Raitt, 1991)
Everything may be online, but word of mouth still has some Klout!  Talk up the blog you love so much to your friends.  Just don’t over do it and alienate your in-the-flesh pals, because then your only friends might be online, which is kind of sad. 

6. Feedback (Janet Jackson, 2007) or Honesty (Billy Joel, 1979)
Tell it to her straight.  If a post made you pee your pants laughing, made you weep, or made Herman Cain look like Socrates, tell the author.  If the blog is like online vodka, i.e. a savior, to you, tell the author. Or if your experience reading the blog has gone from shopping at Tiffany’s to haggling over stuff from some dude’s briefcase, get ye over to the Contact Me page and start typing.  

7. Razzle Dazzle (Chicago, Original Broadway Cast Recording, 1975)
Are you a blogaddict?  Do you know why others in the same niche have tons of followers and comments while your favorite blogger’s wrists burn like someone poured battery acid on them, but she has nothing to show for it?  Be her online bedazzler and help her entrance readers.  Or go tie a buncha people up and force them to read her blog all day.  Whatever works.

8. Put ‘em on the Glass (Sir Mix-a-Lot, 1994)
This might have been a sad follow up to Baby’s Got Back, but you can successfully follow up your membership, follows and likes by sharing posts.  Put those babies up on the glass!  Posts and links, that is.

9. What a Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong, 1968)
Your favorite blogger, if she’s remotely decent, now gets the DTs if she’s away from her computer for too long. She has all but put an electric fence around her workspace to keep her family out. 

Remind this person that there is life outside.  She needs fresh air and time with her kids, who have forgotten what she looks like.  And she needs a drink.  Lie. Use moderate force if you must.  But get this woman away from her computer. 

10. Big Time (Peter Gabriel, 1986)
Your aspiring Bloggerina saw some gal on Oprah chirp, “I had no idea my blogging would lead to a book deal, a six figure income and D-list celebrity status!”  Now, your poor ambitious and hubristic friend won’t rest until she, too, has her own clothing line at Family Dollar.

Give your friend a reality check.  Celebrity is not a cure all.   Help her to remember that she blogs because it feeds her soul. Tell her that despite what she’s read about hard work, fame for laypeople these days comes from putting the right combination of beauty/quirkiness/ talent/criminality on youtube.

Note:  This post is definitely somewhat not at all self-referential.

* Revised from original of April 13, 2012.


  1. I do not wish to parent other peoples children but occasionally I try to be a nice as possible but still making the point.

  2. Oh my gosh, number ten made me laugh so hard. "Clothing line at family dollar" about killed me. But, seriously, if someone wants to take a look at some of my dress sketches...

  3. Hi Keesha,
    I loved reading this piece! Well written! :)

    Wilson Peter
    Dating Service Miami Florida

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. Do you know why others in the same niche have tons of followers and comments while your favorite..
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  7. Blogs love comments! And comments are good! They show that you had some kind of response to a post.
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